The truth about “self-care”
The truth about actual “self-care” is that most of the time it has little to do with being “selfish” and more to do with becoming a better, more capable person for everyone else that you ACTUALLY take care of. I’d argue that it is a necessity.
There is a narrative that exists in the minds of those who care for others that says, “If I take the time to take care of myself, everyone else suffers because when I care for myself, it is SELFISH and I should feel guilty about it.”
What makes this narrative false is that selfishness is defined as:
concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
The fact that you are even thinking about someone else is proof that you are NOT being selfish. It just FEELS like you are, but that feeling stems from fear and a wrestling for control, paired with a lack of belief in yourself, all topped with a pretty bright red little bow of guilt.
I would understand if getting healthy and taking care of yourself meant that you needed to move out of the house and live on an island for 3 months with zero contact with your loved ones BUT IT DOESN’T!! You do not even need an hour a day. You can do it in 30 minutes. You don’t even need to work out every day - you could do it for 3 days out of the week.
If the program you are following does not work with your lifestyle, find a new one that does! Don’t give up on your health simply because a program hasn’t been the right fit yet. You wouldn’t stop wearing ALL shoes simply because you have been wearing a pair that's uncomfortable. You’d find other shoes. You wouldn’t stop eating all food because you had something give you a stomachache, you’d gravitate toward what you like and can enjoy without pain. The same applies here. Although I wouldn’t blame you for avoiding all lettuce right now..(if you know you know LOL)
Movement, eating nutritious foods, getting good sleep, and managing stress should be an absolute minimum. WHY WOULDN’T WE WANT THOSE THINGS?! Why wouldn’t we want our children to learn to enjoy and want those things too!? We should not have to force or manipulate ourselves into these healthy habits, and we shouldn’t let guilt BULLY us out of practicing them.
I get it, there are other things that can be done in those 30 minutes. We have lists and lists of things that we could be doing. I’d be willing to bet that if we took an honest audit of our time, we would find 30 minutes. All we’d have to do is start with our screentime.
At the end of the day, your health begins with one simple step of showing up. The rest can be tweaked, modified, and refined over time. If we do not master the art of making it work for us instead of settling for something that is working against us, we are like a burning candle; it’s only a matter of time before we “burn out.”
Don’t allow for burnout. Don’t quit. Just pivot until it works.
-Coach Jess
